Godzilla (1998) - Newspaper Ad

San Francisco Examiner - May 19, 1998

In 1998 I took a day off work so I could see Godzilla as soon as possible. It was a fanboy indulgence that seared a stinging disappointment into memory.

The moment occurred after Zilla (the titular creature's official Toho Studios moniker) arrived in New York City. Video footage of a Japanese fisherman calling the monster Gojira is broadcast and newscaster Charles Caiman (Harry Shearer) confidently and enthusiastically mispronounces the word as Godzilla. 

That was the moment I remembered I was supposed to be watching a Godzilla movie. My heart crumpled and sank into my stomach, where it sat with a nauseating weight. How had I managed to make myself forget that I was watching a freaking Godzilla movie!?!

I had brought my oldest Godzilla doll with me, to commemorate the event, and I made sure to hide it underneath my jacket when I left the theater. That is how embarrassing and humiliating the experience was.

Twenty-seven years have passed since that painful day and, at time of writing, three stateside film productions featuring an accurate and recognizable Godzilla have been released. Which makes accepting this bloated misfire of a monster movie somewhat easier.

I do not hate the movie. As I stated elsewhere on this blog, I accept it as the bloated and mediocre remake of The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms it truly is.