Count Dracula and his Vampire Bride [The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)] - Newspaper Ad

Oakland Tribune - November 26, 1978

Although the poster for this retitling of The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973) promises that 'The King of the undead marries the Queen of the Zombies" at some point, it would not be in this movie. Not that anybody would have cared, or noticed, at this point in time.

This would be Christopher Lee's final performance as Dracula for Hammer Film. Lee, when embellishing the reasons for Dracula having no dialogue in Dracula, Prince of Darkness (1966), would often cite terrible lines, such as, "I am the Apocalypse!" Silly trash that the character from Stoker's novel would never have uttered, according to Lee.

The thing of it is, this line is from The Satanic Rites of Dracula. The movie that 'convinced' Lee to stop, step away, and distance himself from the role that had grown to define and shackle him.

I do enjoy this movie, though.

Fright Flicks - Trading Card #9

The Fly (1986)

 

Our Trail Cam - Vol. 36

Alien Resurrection (1997) - Newspaper Ad

San Francisco Examiner - November 25, 1997

Hindsight has me questioning why I was ever excited about there being a new Alien movie. When I sat down in the (sadly no more) Century 5 Dome Theater in Pleasant Hill, I anticipated an entertaining thrill ride of a movie. That geeky anticipation was also fueled by the teaser trailer for the upcoming X-Files movie! 

Then Alien Resurrection started and the excitement just leaked out of me as the movie played out. Oh, there were things I liked, such as any scene with Brad Dourif, and... well, the Newborn was an interesting concept, but not all that well handled or introduced. I also liked seeing Dan Hedaya in a small role.

Other than that, though, I remember, round about when the swimming xenomporhs showed up, thinking, "This feels like The Poseidon Adventure meets Aliens." Now that is a mash up that should, and might, have worked, but the movie just sat there. Listless and lifeless.

The only Alien franchise entry I consider to be worse, and even less entertaining, than Resurrection is Alien Romulus.

Lady Death: Dark Alliance - Trading Card #44

Radiant

Basking in power, Lady Death soon found that being alive was taking its own toll. Her memories and emotions of former self coalesced into their own being which haunted the mortal Lady Death to the ends of the earth.

The Jaunt by Stephen King - Review

Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) - Newspaper Ad

Oakland Tribune - November 24, 1976

I did not see Assault on Precinct 13 until it was broadcast, complete and uncut, on KBHK Channel 44 (Cable Channel 12) on Saturday, January 30, 1982. By that point in time, I knew (and idolized) who and what John Carpenter was. The audio cassette recording I made of that broadcast got played every bit as much as the audio cassette recordings I had made of the network television premiere of Jaws and a pay television broadcast of The Fog.

But when Assault on Precinct 13 opened in a minuscule number of theaters in November of 1976, nobody knew who John Carpenter was or what he was capable of. I do envy the people lucky enough to see this movie on the big screen. Before John Carpenter was John Carpenter.

At the Coliseum Drive-In, Assault was coupled with the action-thriller Killer Force (1976), which starred Telly Savalas and Peter Fonda and was directed by Val Guest (who had helmed The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass 2, The Abominable Snowman, The Day the Earth Caught Fire, and many, many more).

The Hayward Automotive and Eastmont Four had it paired with Switchblade Sisters (1975). While the Lux in Oakland had it as part of a triple feature, alongside Take A Hard Ride (1975) and something called Kung Fu Master. That latter film might be a Shaw Brothers offering better known as The Master of Kung Fu [Huang Fei Hong (1973)]. Who knows.

Fright Flicks - Trading Card #8

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Here the labored gag actually syncs with the film image(s) being used for the card.

"I'm your boyfriend now Nancy..."

Although the Phone Tongue prop was only on screen for a few seconds, the grotesque image, and the defilement it represented, made for quite an effective marketing image. Nice BTS shot of the prop, too.

Parts The Clonus Horror (1979) - Newspaper Ad

San Francisco Examiner - November 21, 1979

I remember seeing, and being fascinated with, the newspaper ads for Parts The Clonus Horror, but I did not see the actual movie until it aired on the CBS Late Movie. But when would that have been? I checked a CBS Late Movie broadcast database, to see if I could pinpoint when I might have first watched Parts The Clonus Horror.

Well, it seems very likely that occurred on Friday, April 9, 1982. There was another broadcast, on Wednesday, August 11, 1982. But my dedicated CBS Late Movie viewing was relegated to Friday nights, more often than not.

There was another listing, for Friday January 15, 1982, but Stanley was airing on Creature Features that night and I remember watching it. The Hammer fantasy adventure The Lost Continent was what aired on Friday, April 9, and I know for a fact that I did not watch that on Creature Features. Because I watched it for the first time a year or so ago.

Most people today might know Parts The Clonus Horror from its appearance on Mystery Science Theater 3000. That was one of the episodes I skipped, because I remembered really enjoying the movie and did not wish to see it mocked. It happens.

I checked to see what the 'co-hit' at the Granada Theatre was and it turned out to be The Legacy. An oddity that I discovered, when checking the listings, was that while this ad states that Halloween (1978) is the film's co-feature at the Serramonte Six theatre, the showtime listing says that Alien (1979) is its co-feature. So, which was it?

I think it's fun to share these weird trivial hiccups I uncover in the nooks and crannies of the rabbit holes I fall into whenever I start fact checking my jumbled and fuzzy childhood memories.

Lady Death: Dark Alliance - Trading Card #43

Innocence Lost

When she lets her guard down, Lady Death can show a side that few have ever seen and lived to tell about. Vulnerable to only a select few, Lady Death's heart is still her own.